Should You Tell Your Boyfriend That You Cheated On Him
24 Jul Your mother may have told you that honesty is the best policy, but in this case, many experts advise keeping your mouth shut. "If it really was just one indiscretion, don't tell him," says psychologist Marcella Bakur Weiner, PhD, author of Cheaters. "Although it might make you feel better, it will only hurt him. 28 Sep Caleb from Texas writes, “I feel terrible, but I cheated on my boyfriend when I was traveling for a conference last month. It didn't mean anything, but I feel like I have to tell him. What do you think I should do?" Yikes. There is never a right answer when it comes to these things. Most people might think the only. 20 Jun Cheating is a common concern in long distance relationships. "Feeling Guilty" writes that she has cheated on her boyfriend. Should she tell him, or not?.
Before you buy into these defenses, however, you should know that there are equally valid reasons to come clean. For starters, healthy relationships are built on a foundation of trust. Even if your partner gets angry with you, your honesty will be acknowledged and appreciated, and true emotional connection can be achieved.
This might not sound like a great reason to tell the truth about your cheating, but it is.
Should You Confess To Cheating?
Healthy long-term relationships work and are enjoyable because there is mutual trust. Infidelity cheating is the breaking of trust that occurs when you deliberately keep intimate, meaningful secrets from your primary romantic partner. Please notice that this definition does not talk about porn, strip clubs, casual sex, affairs, or any other type of sexual or romantic behavior.
Instead, it hits at the heart of cheating as the betrayed partner typically perceives it — the loss of relationship trust.
I cheated on my long distance boyfriend. Should I tell him?
Your partner wants and needs to trust you. Without that, the intimate connection in your relationship is compromised. Here is the problem with that thinking: Your significant other will sense that something is wrong, and that the problem, whatever it might be, is negatively impacting the intimacy and emotional connection in your relationship. Worse still, because your partner wants and needs to believe in you and your relationship, he or she may internalize blame for this distancing, wondering what he or she has done to create this rift.
Still, plenty of cheating men and women do choose to keep secrets and tell lies to cover up their infidelity, regardless of how that impacts their spouse and their relationship. I will, however, state that infidelity is usually a sign of deeper problems within a relationship, and silence will not make those problems go away. What it will do is drive a further wedge between you and your partner.
So, if you love your spouse and value your relationship, you need to seriously consider the truth and the benefits it can eventually provide. Yes, when you come clean you risk making things worse before they get better. In fact, you likely will.
Telling your significant other that you cheated might even end your relationship. Usually, though, if there are enough good elements to your partnership, your significant other will be willing to work with you in ways that keep you together and help you rebuild relationship trust.
This creates an opportunity for you and your partner to work on your relationship issues together, and for you to restore relationship trust. Getting honest in this way is neither fun nor easy.
Get thee to a counselor immediately. Horrible Adivce Submitted by Serge on July 12, - Anonymous December 1st, 6:
Your significant other will not enjoy it. But if you truly love your spouse and want to save your relationship, this is the way to make that happen.
If you feel badly about your infidelity and can be honest about what you did, then your relationship can not only survive, it can thrive. Get help from a professional first.
Should You Tell Your Partner You Cheated?
He is the author of several highly regarded books. Currently, he is Senior Vice President of National Clinical Development for Elements Behavioral Health, creating and overseeing mental health and drug rehab programs for more than a dozen high-end treatment facilities.
For more information please visit his website, robertweissmsw. Tap here to turn on desktop notifications to get the news sent straight to you. If I tell him, he might leave me. If I tell her, our relationship will never be the same.
First, every relationship start with loyalty if you think you did mistake go to him and tell him maybe that can break his heart or he get angry with you but he will understand. Still, cheaters tend to think that the immediate, best course of action is to continue lying and keeping secrets. Yes, as much as hard as it may seem, you should tell him and try to decided what is best for both of you.
When you lie and keep secrets, however, those warm and fuzzy feelings disappear. Is that the sort of thing you can live with? Is that the type of relationship you want to have? This post was published on the now-closed HuffPost Contributor platform. Contributors control their own work and posted freely to our site.
If you need to flag this entry as abusive, send us an email. Go to mobile site.