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What do Jews Believe about the Afterlife

Grief Healing: Remarriage in Widowhood: How Soon Is Too Soon?

Question: Is there a commandment that a widower wait a specific length of time before dating and/or remarrying after the death of a spouse? Is it traditional or a commandment that we wait a year? Answer: There is a Rabbinic requirement to mourn for a lost spouse for thirty days. This would preclude marrying. Dating is not. 15 May I started dating July only after talking to my kids about it, and my inlaws to as my wife was their only child and my children are subsequently the only link . My grandfather had mentioned that he thought marrying after the spouse died was a better way to honor the deceased partner than not doing so. 27 Oct The feelings you're having toward your dad in the aftermath of your mother's death are understandable. When one parent dies and the remaining parent begins dating or marries someone else, it can be very hard for the adult child to accept, no matter how soon after the death it occurs. Partly that is because.

Ask the Rabbi, » How Soon Can a Widower Remarry?

The first time I heard the question it shocked me. Then it angered me. Then I felt guilty. Then I became numb. We had married only 11 days before his death, so I was a newlywed widow. A few months later, I slept with two former lovers, the kind of men who are only interested in sex and light conversation.

To be occupied with the study of the Torah was regarded as a plausible reason for delaying marriage; but only in very rare instances was a man permitted to remain in celibacy all his life Yeb. We did have some things in common, but he used a lot of Yiddish words in his emails that I had to look up. For the sake of uniformity the Rabbis required the woman to wait that length of time even when there could be no suspicion of pregnancy.

Every cell in my heart wanted to resist them, but my body and mind were hungry. I desperately wanted to be held and feel less alone. So, I stopped inviting anyone up to the apartment, even after I renovated it and got a new bed. It was the place where my husband had lived before I moved in, where we had lived together, and where he had died.

Jewish Hookup After Death Of Spouse

It was still covered with photos of him and us. It was the one place where I could still talk to him and hear his response. I took this, and the timing, as a direct message from my husband that this guy was special. We went on a date, my first with another man since I met my husband four years earlier. He never could produce the voicemail. I had tried to convince my husband when he was sick that we should get a dog. I thought it would cheer him up and give him a reason to live, one of many wild ideas I thought might save him.

Jewish Hookup After Death Of Spouse

He convinced me that a dog would be too much responsibility on top of my caregiver duties. Now I missed those duties. The first few months were a blur of house training, behavior training, and vet visits.

My father was the most vocal critic about this, presumably on behalf of my entire family. Some friends thought the puppy was a great idea.

Jewish Mourning Rituals: An Overview

Others shook their heads. Would you give her up? To make sure, I brought her with me on the next date, which was with a man who lived at the beach.

The Unlikliest Aphrodisiac: Why Mourners Often Hook Up at Funerals | Observer

As he waxed on about his under-construction beach house, the puppy peed on the dusty floor right around where he was planning to put the piano. Later, in an attempt to show that he was dog friendly, he chased her up and down the beach. But she barked at him because she was scared, and he got offended.

Eighteen years is the age set by the Rabbis Ab. Email me when new comments are posted. It helps if the children realize that it is important for the parent to be content.

When he came out of the bathroom, the puppy and Jewish Hookup After Death Of Spouse were waiting. We escorted him back to his car. After the two-year anniversary, I went on four dates with a friend of a friend, three of which ended back at his apartment.

A few months later another friend mentioned three people she knew who had met on a site called OkCupid and gotten married. Those were pretty good odds. I decided to try it. The first man I emailed back happened to be an Orthodox Jew. Not the ultra-religious kind that wears the black coat and hat, the kind that dresses like an average person, he reassured me. We did have some things in common, but he used a lot of Yiddish words in his emails that I had to look up.

After a bunch of emails, we made plans to meet at a kosher vegan restaurant his idea on my lunch hour.

After waiting 15 minutes, I ordered a chicken quesadilla with fake chicken and fake cheese. What are you doing tomorrow? In year three, I had lunch with two widow friends.

One had been married for 25 years, the other for five, and me for 11 days. I asked them if they had thought about dating again. Each shook her head. I figured it was because women sometimes understand each other better than men do, so dating a woman might alleviate the need to explain everything. I also thought it might alleviate the tendency to compare any prospective man to our late husbands.

My late husband set the bar high in every area — wit, intelligence, personality, chemistry, values, even the way it ended.

Unfortunately, death and dying is part of the deal. Given a chance to go back in time, I would do it all over again hopefully with more grace. But losing my husband was one of the biggest disappointments of my life a bigger disappointment for him. Part of me article source still heartbroken. After he died, one of his friends told me that the only way to heal was to build new memories and new experiences.

The dog and I spend lots of time outside, enjoying the fresh air and natural beauty. Then I think, what if I am? Some people can go an entire lifetime without experiencing that kind of love. No matter what the future holds, my heart will always be full. Skip to main content.