Why I refuse to date an older man, Lifestyle News & Top Stories - The Straits Times
Age should never be a barrier to finding love. So if you've found yourself falling for someone older, be sure take a look at our list of the 8 things that you need to know about dating older men. You never know when you'll find love – it often comes from the most surprising places. And at eHarmony, as we're focused on. 8 Aug When my year-old son told me he was bringing his new girlfriend home to meet me, I chilled the wine and whacked a chicken in the oven. Clearly they were getting But while men are happy to embrace “silver fox” status, women the same age are branded “hags”, “old bags” and “past it”. You think I'm. The problem is I'm not really comfortable with my family members (dad/brother[23 ]/sister) or friends knowing about him just yet. I haven't brought a date home before and don't know if I want to just yet. Some screwed up part in my head tells me I should not be dating an older guy because we are at.
My young son and an older man...help please!
Two days ago my 16 year old son told me he is gay. He told his older sister later that same day.
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He hasn't yet told his father who is away on a business trip nor his older brother who is away at Grad school until Christmas. I hope he tells his father soon, this news is a lot to handle alone.
When he told me I assured him that it was OK, that I loved him just the same and that I just wanted him to be safe and happy. Yesterday he told me that he's had a steady boyfriend since Sept. Which momentarily actually relieved me until he told me how old his boyfriend is I controlled my emotions but I did make it known that I thought that any 27 year old man dating a 16 year old is cause for concern.
I don't want to push my son away into sneaking around with this man here at the same time any parent of the 16 year old regardless of sexual preferece would be concerned. We live in a small city in France where there are a couple of gay bars. As 16 year olds are allowed in bars although he's not a drinker I assume this is where they met.
I strongly agree with Chip here. It's not about being embarrassed. Still, I reverted to form -- hooking up, but something in me had changed. We normally meet up half ways to hang out since there's a 30mi not really that far distance between us. Jun 26, Messages:
Is this "normal" in the gay community or am I right to be concerned? And what can I really do about it Dec 22, Messages: Huge age gaps among relationships are normal regardless if it's a homosexual or heterosexual partnership. I guess the issue here is that the year-old guy is having a relationship with a minor. In my country, it can be considered already as "rape. He's technically a minor so sexual acts shouldn't be allowed with an adult in the first place.
May 9, Messages: I strongly disagree that huge age gaps are "normal. More than they should. My Son Is Dating An Older Man they normal and healthy? Between a 16 year old and a 27 year old, pretty much without exception, the answer is no. First, a 27 year old who is genuinely interested in a relationship with a 16 year old is not emotionally healthy.
Second, there are a lot of inherent problems. Life experience differences, imbalances of power dynamics due to the differences in income, life experience, and most everything else. As you surmise, this is a complicated issue. One thing you might be able to do is encourage him to come here, and read some of the threads about age-gap relationships.
While there are a handful of age-gap apologists that show up in the threads and sing the "Age is just a number" routine, the majority of people who post here talk about the problems most of them from firsthand experience. Even that isn't persuasive for someone who thinks he's in love The best thing you can do is to try and suspend judgment around him so that you can keep the lines of communication open. Not the easiest thing to do, but it's far more important to try and keep the connection so that when there is a problem, he'll feel like he can talk to you about it.
Jan 24, Messages: It might be that he's not fully out and in sync with the gay people in your town and the older guy was the only one he could find. Sometimes younger people like to pair up with slightly older ones because they feel that age gives you more experience in bed. Depending on the other person, their relationship might be okay, but it also might end up badly.
If I were you I'd pay close attention to the behavior of your son. Getting to know the bf might also source well, I doubt you will be able to influence them by force, so perhaps politics and psychology will work. Jun 26, Messages: I also suspect that part of the issue, as previously mentioned, is unconsciously seeking a mentor.
I think that it would be best to 1 suspend judgement while keeping the lines of communication open as previously suggested and 2 encourage him to meet and socialize with other LGBT people his own age. I'm not sure what part of France you're My Son Is Dating An Older Man, but there's a good chance that there is some way for him to meet other LGBT youth in your area.
Nov 20, Messages: Well, I'd say it depends on the individual case My friend a shefor example, has a boyfriend too and she's 17, he's But I know both of them obviously haha and I know that they really do love each other.
Also, my friend is really adult-like, so she seems to be older than she actually is. When I first heard of their relationship I was worried as well, but I got to know him and I My Son Is Dating An Older Man say, there's nothing wrong with him.
I would say, try to be open to your son's relationship and maybe you can get to know his boyfriend first before judging him and then see. Jan 13, Messages: First of all, I appreciate you on controlling your emotions at that moment, talking about it right away ,with him just having come out, is a little tricky. I'd say first take time getting used to talking to him about his sexualitythen read more to get to know about this said person by asking him general questions as to how they met and stuff like that My Son Is Dating An Older Man, gauge the nature of the relationship!
I'd say 27 isn't too oldbut not ideal and definitely complicated! So take it slow and be watchful on how your son is doing if he is doing fine it probably will be OK, assure him that you are there for him if he has any problem, most likely he'd realize it would or wouldn't work out sooner or later! So just be there with him! Nov 14, Messages: I wouldn't say you're over reacting or anything you're just probably a little concerned.
But I I'm guessing age of consent is 16 in France? So in that case it's probably not that bad.
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I've heard of gay relationships with big age gaps. It may work it may not you never know but on the other hand as long as the guy he's dating is at least somewhat decent I wouldn't worry about it too much. Oct 18, Messages: You have every right to be concerned as like you said, age gaps can be nerve wrecking.
However, before you question it. Maybe find out more about this person and see what they are like first. Feb 1, Messages: This sounds like a tough one!
Have you asked him what he sees in the older guy? Could it be he is the first one to accept him for who he is, and he just wants another gay companion? Jun 15, Messages: I've met year-olds who look and act 20, and year-olds who look and act 40 unfortunately! While there are still inherent issues with an "age gap" relationship as others have described, you won't know if you're comfortable with him until you meet him.
He might be an amazing person who you'll want to give the key to your houselike my mom did when I was 20 and met my nowyear-partner, who was 33 at the time! Sep 13, Messages: Good job supporting your son. I Read article your concern and would definitely be very worried if it were my 16 year old. But at his age you My Son Is Dating An Older Man have to be careful in your approach as a strong negative response will likely just drive him to hide his relationship and stop communication with you.
Get him go bring the guy to meet you so you can at least judge his character. Then you can make a better decision about what action to take. In the meantime try to instill in your son a sense of empowerment.
He needs to be able to advocate for his safety and needs. With this big age gap the older man has the advantage. Personally I don't think it's OK for this man to be seeing your son. But, I know sometimes these relationships end up in a good place.
What if he leaves you in month 13 after meeting them in month 12? He'd been spending alot of time in NZ to take care of his family when they were going through something rough, but after that he was spending more time away and needed a little nudge to go back to his own source. You'd noted that you have only been dating your guy for three months man
Best wishes to you. May 19, Messages: I strongly agree with Chip here. I'm very glad you support your son, however this relationship needs to end. Not only could it be illegal depending on the laws where you live, but My Son Is Dating An Older Man maturity gap is the scariest factor.
An year age gap isn't a big deal when the couple is much older-for example my http://nudemaleceleb.info/miva/best-online-dating-site-in-montreal.php is 52 and her wife is but the maturity difference between a year-old and a year-old is about as far apart as Europe is from North America.
For this reason, I'm worried that he's already been manipulated and taken advantage of. A year-old should know that this isn't a good idea, and he probably has his own emotional issues to work out. Jul 30, Messages: