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Why You Don’t Have To Share Your Dating History
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So you broke up with your boyfriend or girlfriend and it was horrible.
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Breakups are, indeed, some of the most miserable parts of our young adult lives, right after making independent financial decisions and having to buy our own groceries.
You might be saying to yourself, well whoop-di-freaking-do, Maureen. We all know that dating is like that crazy aunt that you have to talk to at family gatherings: Necessary and mandatory, but incredibly annoying and uncomfortable.
I will not lie to you, Darlings: Dating will be the absolute worst sometimes. And you hit it off right away, so much so that you can practically see the sparks flying between you.
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You marvel at how strange the heart is; this stupid little muscle that controls so much of our lives. You have great first dates, you kiss in the rain, their smile makes your heart beat a little faster.
When it comes to creating a relationship out of the thin wisps of air in front of you, some people say that honesty is always the best policy. Better to tell the truth now than to explain later. Complete transparency is paramount. Honesty is a wonderful theory; so full of promise and the potential for a deeper emotional understanding and intimacy.
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So how much do you reveal about yourself then? More specifically, how much of your dating history do you share with this great guy or girl who is making you weak at the knees? As a recent member of the single-and-ready-to-mingle train, I find myself continuously struggling with my tendency to overshare about my past on dates. Transparency is, as they say, paramount. But, like any other person, my past is complicated and there are things that I like to keep private.
Moreover, I realize that the guys I go on dates with might have parts of their past that they would prefer to keep private as well.
It was a guilty pleasure. Don't worry, I put a bonnet on the baby since she doesn't have hair yet. We want to be popular. Yes I know that you should never ever make your booty call banana bread. Pizza, however, can only be pizza.
Why did he break up with his last girlfriend? How many girls has he dated? You can never know a person completely and neither of your dating histories really matter. The longer you date someone, the easier it is to think I know this person.
Same day, next week? I cry when I hear 99 Luftballons. Calm the fuck down and go take a shower. Life is meant to be extremely subjective. Post 27 pumpkin photos on Instagram.
I know him or her completely and totally. Yet these are just snippets of the things we want people to know; in most cases there is more to our dating histories than we let on and, ultimately, more to each of us than we let on.
You can never know a person completely. Even if you understand who they are now, there is so much that makes up a person; so many experiences and little tiny moments that would take decades to fully uncover and explain. Otherwise, I would argue that the past is the past, and we should all leave it there.
Your exes, hookups, and awkward dates have certainly impacted who you are today, but the difference is that those things do not define who you are in this moment with this person. So go kiss that guy or girl who makes you weak at the knees. Take chances, always look forward, and enjoy the ride.
Maureen is a twenty-something Virginia native whose more info accomplishments include seeing every episode of Buffy the Vampire Slayer, knowing all the words to "Ice Ice Baby," and thoroughly embarrassing herself at least twice per day.
When she is not traveling the world, you can find her reading with a cup of coffee in hand, listening to songs on repeat until she hates them, or oversharing about her life to anyone that will listen. Wedding planning can be a lot to take on, between all the vendors to book a….
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